Patricia W. Adam's Blog: How Normal Are Your Boner Tendencies?

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Health

Let’s see how you ~measure up~.

1. 10 or younger
2. 11
3. 12
4. 13
5. 14
6. 15 or older

ID: 9854194

2. How many boners do you get in a day?
1. None
2. 1–3
3. 4–6
4. 7–9
5. I’m actually hard all day — that’s normal, right?

ID: 9854362

3. How do you get rid of your boners?
1. Cold showers FTW.
2. Flex my thigh to divert blood flow.
3. Masturbating is the only way.
4. Thinking of grandma always works.
5. I wait for it to go down… eventually.

ID: 9854494

1. I stick it in my waistband.
2. I stick my hand in my pocket.
3. I find a seat!
4. I act normal. There’s nothing to see here, people!

ID: 9854582

1. Jeans — the fabric hurts.
2. Sweatpants — the visual representation of a pitched tent.
3. Gym shorts — might as well be wearing nothing.
4. Dress pants — you can’t even hide it when your shirt’s tucked in.

ID: 9855095

6. Have you gotten a boner at work?
1. YES, and I made it out alive.
2. NO, I’ve been spared the embarrassment.

ID: 9854716

7. What about during your commute, while on the train, bus, or in a car?
1. Every-damn-day.
2. Only sometimes — the engine vibrations have to be especially strong.
3. It depends on what I’m thinking about.
4. Nope. Why would I get one during these times?

ID: 9854821

8. How often do you get morning wood?
1. It’s not a proper morning without it!
2. Only on occasion.
3. No morning wood, but what about afternoon wood?

ID: 9855347

9. Peeing with a boner: What's your technique?
1. The Lunge: One foot forward, you execute a deep lunge as you angle your pee into the toilet.
2. The Frogger: Seated on the toilet, you lean forward till your hands are nearly on the ground to angle your pee inside.
3. The Leaning Tower: Hand on the wall behind the toilet, you lean forward like the Tower of Pisa to angle your pee into the toilet.

ID: 9855600

10. Have you ever tried swinging your boner around like a helicopter?
1. All the time!
2. Maybe once — it was fun while it lasted.
3. Nahh, that’s not my style.

ID: 9865135

11. How often do you masturbate?
1. Once a month or less.
2. Maybe once a week.
3. A few times a week.
4. Once a day.
5. A few times a day.

ID: 9855468

1. No, it works every time.
2. Sometimes — if the mood’s not right.
3. Yup. It happens all the time, actually.

ID: 9855507

13. How long do your boners last?
1. 10 minutes or less.
2. 10–20 minutes.
3. 20–30 minutes.
4. 30–60 minutes.
5. An hour or more.

ID: 9855630

14. And finally, do you get more boners sitting down or standing up?
1. Sitting down.
2. Standing up.
3. Not sure — it kinda just happens!

ID: 9855750

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How Normal Are Your Boner Tendencies?

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