1. The book worm
“Nanobooklvr. I had just gotten an iPod Nano and I wanted everyone to know I had it. And I liked books.”
ID: 10052033
2. The cool kid
“julezizcoolz@hotmail.com. People call me Jules but the ‘z’s sounded so much cOoOOooler back when I was 9-years-old.”
ID: 10052038
3. The kid who couldn’t spell
“xx_jucylucy_69@hotmail.com. Because my name’s Lucy and I was… y’know, jucy. And because I couldn’t spell.”
ID: 10052045
4. The kid who didn’t know what “69” meant
“HottieWitABodi69@hotmail.com. I was 12-years-old, I didn’t have a ‘bodi’ yet, and I didn’t actually know what 69 meant.”
— kaylak8
ID: 10052046
5. The animal lover
“Mine was guinea_pigs_are_cool@hotmail.com. I was 10-years-old, we had just got a guinea pig, and underscores were cool at the time.”
ID: 10052017
6. The one with a double meaning
“yopitstink@gmail.com. I thought it was funny because it could either say, ‘yo pits stink’ or, ‘yo, pit stink’ as if you could call someone ‘pit stink’.”
ID: 10052051
7. The case of confused identity
“Mine was army_barbie. I don’t know why: I’m not related to anyone in the military, nor do I aspire to join.”
— Micheli Jorda, via Facebook
ID: 10052057
8. The flirty teens
“My first one was demented_barbie@hotmail.com, and the one following that was trashcanwhore__x@hotmail.com. But nothing will beat my friend’s: Her first email address, at the age of nine, was sxxc_bitch@hotmail.com.”
— Hayley Boyden, via Facebook
ID: 10052059
9. The Britney fan
“I was obsessed with Britney Spears in third grade so I made my first email address popstarBJS@aol.com. My mom tried to talk me out of it but I didn’t see the error of my ways. I just thought everyone would know it meant Britney Jean Spears not BJs.”
ID: 10052071
10. The joker
“Adidaseggplant@aol.com. My dad made it for me when we were on vacation. I was wearing my favorite Adidas tee (very ’90s) and I thought eggplants were funny.
ID: 10052072
11. The BFFs
“In Junior High, my best friend and I wanted our first email addresses to be similar. So she was googlybear4u@hotmail.com and I was gigglybear4u@hotmail.com.”
ID: 10052065
12. The accidental doctor
“Mine was lilmizzdrprincess@yahoo.com. Everyone used to think ‘dr’ stood for ‘doctor’ but really it was supposed to stand for ‘Dominican Republic’.
ID: 10052028
13. The singleton
“Mine was 4me2myboi@myway.com. My neighbor made it up but I didn’t have a boyfriend until about 8 years later.”
ID: 10052084
14. The joke that went too far
“My boyfriend’s was poopdick123@hotmail.com. Recently, we went to a local hospital to apply for a job, but he couldn’t remember his email address. The receptionist’s face was hilarious: She had to call someone to get the email address and then write it down and hand it to him. So two hospital employees had to know about my boyfriend’s high school obsession with poop. And dicks.”
ID: 10052089
15. The one with the accidental slang
“I made my email address when I was 10-years-old and obsessed with animals. I used the first letter of my first name, my last name, and ‘af’ for ‘animal freak’: alinderaf@yahoo.com. Little did I know that ‘af’ would become slang for ‘as fuck’. So now all my friends call me Allie Linder As Fuck.”
ID: 10052099
16. The faux Doctor Who fan
“Poptardis@gmail.com. I really liked Pop Tarts, and everyone at my school liked Doctor Who, so I combined Pop Tarts and Tardis to make the email address. The cringiest part is: I didn’t even watch the show. Sigh.”
ID: 10052105
17. The kid who took her friend’s advice
“In fourth grade my friend recommended my initials followed by princess so… BJprincess.”
ID: 10052108
18. The ~crazy~ kid
“My first one in high school was krazygurl1881@aol.com. Then, when I was 19 and thought I was too grown for krazygurl, I made partygurl81@aol.com. LOL. Man, I was a mess.”
— Nichole Day, via Facebook
ID: 10052110
19. The one that doesn’t even make sense
“Meatgoddess69… Like, wtf?”
— Valerie Vauclair, via Facebook
ID: 10052113
20. The badass
“tequilamonster69. I made it when I was 14-years-old and it was my first email address ever. I thought it sounded badass and adult. I actually still use it occasionally for online stuff, but my main email is a lot more resume-friendly.”
— Caito Frederickson, via Facebook
ID: 10052115
21. The one who couldn’t spell
“Mine was firerfly45@yahoo.com. Yes, I spelled ‘fire’ wrong. My friends and I were starting a band called firefly and the 45 was the average of our lucky numbers.”
ID: 10052124
22. The other one who couldn’t spell, but took precautions
“I had devilizedangel@hotmail.com and devilizedangle@hotmail.com. I couldn’t spell. I wasn’t sure which spelling was ‘angel’, assumed everyone else would make the same mistake and figured that if I had both I wouldn’t miss any important chain emails or Neopet alerts.”
ID: 10052119
23. The kid who loved salad
“My boyfriend’s name is Stu and he thought it would be super cool to have the email address ‘stu’s a lad’, not realising it read ‘stusalad’ because you can’t use apostrophes. I only found out recently but I can’t help but call him Stu Salad all the time now!”
ID: 10052127
24. The music kid
“Alright, are you ready for this? Gcsumblinkmxpxspnfgbcr@rock.com.
Because I liked Good Charlotte, Sum41, Blink 182, MxPx, Simple Plan, New Found Glory, and Box Car Racer. I’m not sure whether rock.com still exists, but I haven’t logged in for well over a decade.”
ID: 10052130
25. The case of the lying friend
“www.one-lil-angel@hotmail.co.uk. My friend convinced me that all emails had to begin with www. in order to work.”
ID: 10052177
26. The kid who lied about her age
“Mine was misshotness13@hotmail.com. Everyone was using their name to make some catchy email address. Well, I didn’t like my name and couldn’t think of something clever. I guess ‘misshotness was the next best thing’. And, of course, I wasn’t 13 yet but I wanted everyone to think I was.”
— Ali Kat, via Facebook
ID: 10052143
27. The one entirely in text speak
“2hot2handle@yahoo.com. I think I made that in my freshman year of high school. Smh.”
— Natalie Vaughn, via Facebook
ID: 10052137
28. The ironic one
“It was smrtblonde77@aol.com because I thought it was ironic to misspell the word ‘smart’ (as opposed to dumb blonde) and I really liked the number 7. I have actually kept it around for a few different user names (including my BuzzFeed one) because it makes me remember being a dumb teenager and makes me laugh.”
ID: 10052164
29. The one who was savvy about internet security
“dr0p_it_like_its_h0t_950@hotmail.com. My mom made me replace the ‘o’s with zeros to be more secure. Now I’m not so sure she knew what she was talking about.”
ID: 10052165
30. The Elijah Wood fan
“I_love_elijah_wood_foreva@hotmail.com, because I loved Elijah Wood forever (spelt eva, obvs)! The worst thing was: I met him once and not only was I wearing a hoodie with a cartoon version of his face on it, I also gave him a letter with my email address on it. Sadly, he never emailed me.”
ID: 10052168
31. The kid with the rat
“My email, from fifth grade to eight grade, was ratlover23@aol.com. I had a pet rat for a few years growing up and apparently I loved it. Someone should have stopped me.”
ID: 10052172
32. The MySpace addict
“I invented mine way back when it was cool to have your MySpace name as your actual name in lower case followed by a ~random~ word in capitals like ‘RAWR’. My friends and I were taking the piss out of this and came up with things like ‘abiANAL’. We were 14, OK?! Anyway mine ended up being ‘kayleighWHOREFACE’ and it stuck big time. I applied for bank accounts, college, everything with kayleighwhoreface@hotmail.com. I even applied for (and got!) a job at a very large bank with that email, and ten years later my closest friends still call me whoreface. Affectionately, I hope!”
ID: 10052182
33. The one she’s still proud of
“iwavemyprivateparts@hotmail.com” Gotta admit, 17 years later I’m still kind of proud of that one.”
— Krystal Watanabe, via Facebook
ID: 10052186
34. The case of mistaken identity
“Iamcathy@hotmail.com. It would be fine if my name was Cathy, not Becky.”
ID: 10052135
Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
ID: 10051844
